Quarantine Lessons

I’m a list person. I love lists. I love writing lists, and even more so, crossing things off of them. It allows me to quantify the things I’ve done in a day, and it makes me feel like I’m being productive. Am i tricking myself into productivity? Maybe.

Well today I’m going to give you all a list of all the things I’ve learned about myself and others during this quarantine period. It may or may not be long ( I know I said my last post would be long, and I was wrong, so I won’t make any promises this time. So let’s get into it.

  1. Maybe I like people a little more than I thought. For the most part, I’ve only left the house for essential runs, and I miss EVERYONE. I miss hugging my friends and family, I miss eating out at restaurants, I miss going in to work (gasp). I just miss it all. Once I’m able to hug people again, I just may not let go.

  2. I’m an excellent dog mom. Translation: I spoil Lola rotten. I found myself tucking her in and I realized maybe I had gone too far. But I mean, who can say no to this face?

picture+2.jpg

3. It’s ok to not be ok. Many of us are still struggling with adapting to this “new normal”, and it’s ok. It’s also ok to get help if you feel it’s necessary.

4. I may have been using the gym as a coping mechanism, and now that I don’t feel it’s safe to go, I’m suffering, both physically and mentally. However, I’ve discovered that I like painting, and in fact, I’m going to paint as soon as I hit publish on this post. Physically, I’m losing muscle mass, and it may be vain, but I was enjoying the progress I was seeing as a result of working out regularly. Of course I know I can replicate these results, but I’m asking kindly if you all would stop buying up all the dumbbells. Please. :)

5. Time is an illusion? Everything seems to be moving fast, yet slow. Does that make sense?

6. I’m always going to be a “lazy natural”. During this time I vowed that I would learn new hairstyles, perfect a wash and go, and deep condition my hair more. I’m sad to say that I haven’t done any of these things. My hair has been in a slicked back bun 90% of the time. I’ll try to do better?

7. I’m learning things that trigger emotions in me that I still need to deal with. For me this means limiting news, and only reading from reputable sources, limiting my time on social media, and not allowing myself to wallow when those feelings do come.

8. I’m pretty cute without makeup , so I may wear less of it. It took a long time for me to get to this point. I will however need my eyebrows done soon, because it’s not looking good over here.

9. I literally cannot be long winded, because I’m already done with this list. Shocker. I really wanted to get to 10.

What have you learned about yourself during this quarantine? Feel free to let me know in the comments section!

Love always,

CDOG

Something about Haikus...

Hi friends. It looks like we’ve made it to the end of another short but long…ish workweek. You know what I mean right? Honestly all of my days seem to run together now. I’ve been working from home since Mid-March, and its been a weird blur. The irony of today’s post is that it will be one of the longest I've written, yet it deals with one of the shortest styles of poetry; the humble haiku. (How’s that for some alliteration?!) Anyway, a haiku is a Japanese poem that only contains 3 lines and 17 syllables. The first and third lines contain 5 syllables each, and the middle line has seven syllables. Typically these poems use nature as an influence, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way to be effective. I’m the queen of keeping things short and sweet (just ask my boss when I’m leading Zoom meetings), and I've recently found myself writing my thoughts down in this style. Its so interesting how so few words can pack such a huge punch. Not to toot my own horn (too much), but I think I've gotten pretty good at these, so I wanted to share one with you, as well as the meaning behind it. Usually these poems don’t have titles, so this one doesn’t either.

Beauty from ashes

Why destruction first, always?

Makes the soil fertile

If you’re re-reading this to figure out what it means, I gotcha. I decided to use nature as my reference, and honestly, I was thinking about a scene in the Lion King where Simba defeats Scar and it starts raining. It washes all the ashes away and new plants begin to grow where the ashes were. Ashes are full of nutrients, which of course we know helps plants to grow. For me, this pandemic seems to keep spreading, sort of like a fire. It seems like it’s going to be awhile before it fully leaves us. However, I’ve come to realize that this may be a good time to cultivate other things in your life, and we can indeed have good things come out of this. So yes, it may be hot, uncomfortable, scary, or all of the above for you, and you may be wandering in the smoke screen that is this time period. But remember, a fire eventually dies out, and the nutrients left behind in the ashes can create something wonderful.

Ha. Even when I tried to be long-winded I can’t.

Love always,

CDOG

BBB (Big Baller Brand): Black Business Edition

Can you believe it’s May already? April came and went, but also stayed awhile, if that makes any sense. I think we’re going on week 7 or 8 of being inside?

One of the things I really miss is going to physical storefronts. Sure, I do my essential grocery shopping, but I’m talking about those little stores and shops that are the cornerstones of our communities. Well, even though we can’t physically be there, we can still support and that’s what today’s post is all about!

I’ve gathered some of my favorite black brands and businesses, and I’m giving you all the details! I promise there is something for everyone, whether you need a podcast to listen to, a new skincare line, a good book to read, or someone that can take a dope picture of you, I’ve got it all! So take some time on your lunch break or after work and shop! We’re all in this together.

Love always,

CDOG

Photography/ Media

thebbmedia ( IG: thebbmedia)

Vibe Street Studios (IG: vibestreetstudios)

DawnG Media (IG: dawngmedia)

Podcasts

The Sit Down w/ Brenks (IG: thesitdownwbrenks)

The Architects Podcast (IG: thearchitectspodcast)

Taken Outta Context Podcast (IG: takenouttacontextpodcast)

The Kickback (IG: tkbpodcast)

The Food Truck Scholar (IG: thefoodtruckscholar)

Consulting

KGT Communication (IG: kgtcommunication)

Pure Life Consulting (IG: purelifeconsultingllc)

Crowned Enterprises (IG: crownedenterprises)

Skin/Hair/Face

Temple Skin + Body (IG: templeskinandbody)

A naturaleza’s apothecary (IG: naturalezasapothecary)

Authors/ Artists

Beth, the Artist (IG: bdhenry)

Keiani Taylor (IG: queenkeiani)

Non Profits

Urban Impact Birmingham (IG: urbanimpactbirmingham)

Elevators on 4th (IG: elevators_on_4th)

Sober Culture (IG: soberculture)

The Regenerate Society (IG: thisisrsociety)

Film

Soul Glow Productions (IG: soulglowproductions)

Jewelry

Jollof Boutique (IG: jollofboutique)

Food / Drink

TasTea Wellness Blends (IG: tasteadrinkwell)









 



 













 



































































Sometimes the grass isn’t greener…it’s just fake

Alright I’ll fess up. I’ve been spending way too much time on social media lately. We all know for the most part we don’t share the bad things that happen to us on IG or Twitter, so it’s easy to think that even in this time most of us have it together.

Then I had to take a step back and look at my own social media presence. Aside from this blog, I’m not sure if anyone would know that I’m not adjusting to this new normal so gracefully. To some, my grass is in fantastic condition. It’s plush, green, and well watered. Am I faking it? Putting on a front for Facebook? Maybe. (I also believe there is a thin line between transparency and spilling too much of your business online).

So thinking about this, why would I expect others to spill the darkest parts about themselves during this time when I’m not even doing it? Why compare myself to others when I know that social media is the “highlight reel”? You never see a player approach a scout with a DVD of his or her worse plays! Of course we only want the best showcased. So with that being said, I want you to read the title of this blog again…and then again. The next time you’re tempted to compare yourself, remember, all you see is the highlights.

Love always,

CDOG

Even if you don't recieve it back...Do it anyway

Words. Words. Words. They mean so much to me. Sometimes I cling too much to them, overanalyzing, studying the tone in which I received them, trying to figure out if I’ve missed anything, listening to see if the same thing I’m giving out is returned to me. I’m very careful with the things I say, because I know the power words can have.

When I'm talking to the people I care about, I’d like to think I use words that paint the picture of how much I love and appreciate them, and naturally, I expect like that same energy in their response…right?

Here’s the thing. Sometimes, you won’t get that back.

And that's ok.

Trust me, I’ve had my share of rejection, and I know if hurts. It hurts badly. But, you owe it to yourself to never hold back your feelings just because of how someone may react. You owe it to yourself to love people wholeheartedly, unconditionally. Sure, some people won’t accept it, but that's on them! The good news is that everyone won’t reject you!

Love, even if you don’t receive it back. Do it anyway. You owe it to yourself.

An Open Self-Love Letter

If you could give your younger self some advice, what would it be?

This week has been rough and it’s only Wednesday.  So instead of baking cookies (sigh), I decided my waistline and my heart could use a little self love. (I actually may bake some anyway…) Hopefully some of this resonates with you as well.

First of all, I know life has been a little rough lately. Actually, life is usually a little rough. I know you’re tired. I know you’re fighting things many people have no idea about. But guess what? You put a smile on your face and manage to do the same for others. You are strong, even when you don’t feel like it. I am proud of you.

Give yourself more credit- You have accomplished so much, and you aren’t even 30 yet! Take some time to celebrate the things you have accomplished. Sure, you may not be exactly where you want to be, but you have done so much. Believe that. Know that. Celebrate that. Looking for the next “thing” will have you forgetting all the fabulous things you’ve done already. 

Don’t take things so personally- Guess what girl? It’s not all about you! Sometimes things have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the other person.

Choose those that choose you- Everyone isn’t going to love you. Tough, but true. No matter how nice you are, there will still be those that don’t care for you. BUT, there are tons of people who love and care for you. Focus on those people. Nurture those relationships. People want to love you. Let them.

Believe in yourself just as much as you believe in others- One great thing about you is that you can see the great potential in others, but most of the time, you leave yourself out. Stop. If you want people to believe in you, you’ve got to believe in yourself. You got it girl!

Love the skin you’re in- Gosh, you are beautiful. Your awkwardness works for you. You have beautiful eyes, and a smile that can light up a room. You hear it all the time. Believe it.  Nobody is perfect, and your flaws are what make you…well, you.

There is room for everyone to win- There is no reason to be intimidated of other beautiful, successful women because you are one of them! You are not broken, you are not damaged. You are amazing, intelligent, ambitious, and you will win.

You can do this. Your life has purpose, it has meaning. Get out of your own way, and go be great.

Whew. I hope you took a few gems from that. I may or may not have shed a few tears writing it. I’m rooting for you.

Love always,

CDOG

The perfect YouGotThisGirl YouHaveHer ThatsYourGirl Animated GIF for your conversation. Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor.

Breathe...

I just clocked out of work (well, telework), put some brownies in the oven, and took a deep breath. (Do you know what best part about baking brownies? It’s licking the spoon. And the bowl.)

If I had just a dollar for every heavy sigh since COVID-19, I would have enough to pay my electric bill for this month. Anxiety is the name of the game at this point. My routine has been broken, and if you know me, that alone is enough to make me anxious. Couple that with the fact that social isolation could last longer than I’d like, and sometimes I wake up with a few tears in my eyes. I know I'm not alone, which is probably the only reason I'm being this open about how I am feeling right now.

Yesterday I started to write a list of all the things that make me anxious, but instead, I wrote a list of the things I was grateful for. Instead of writing in my journal, I’m going to share that list with you all. So, here it goes:

  1. Those brownies in the oven.

  2. Friends and family that are healthy.

  3. A safe environment where I am able to work from home.

  4. My dog, who listens to my external dialogue while I'm working. (And also begs for attention)

  5. A freezer and fridge full of food.

  6. Toilet paper and paper towels (I never thought I'd say that)

  7. I am healthy.

  8. Virtual counseling sessions

  9. The sun shining right now. (if you’re in Birmingham you know we’ve been getting rain for 40 days and 40 nights)

  10. The promotion I just received.

In addition to writing down the things I'm grateful for, I’ve been cooking, texting and calling family and friends, and uh…watching the Avengers. (Hey, those are great movies!)

The next time you feel fearful, anxious, etc., go ahead and feel that emotion. It’s normal. Know that you aren’t alone. However, don’t stay in that emotion. It may be difficult, but let’s try to find the small silver linings everyday during this difficult time.

It looks like those brownies I kept talking about are done, and they are calling me!

What are some things you are doing to help combat anxiety during this time? I’d love to hear in the comments below.

Love always,

CDOG

Let's get real...

What a long year the last few months have been. I was going to start this off with a cliché about how everything is going to be fine (which, I do believe by the way), but let’s just get real for a few minutes. This COVID-19 is serious. I, like many others are wondering how everything is going to turn out once this is all over. I’m worried about my family, my friends, the economy, all of it. It’s ok to acknowledge those feelings, and you definitely aren’t alone. I am especially worried about small business and how they will be impacted by this pandemic. I asked a question about how we can still support them while still practicing social distancing, and here are a few responses that I got:

  1. “Utilize the call in and pick-up”

  2. Order UberEats from your favorite family owned restaurants”

  3. Order Delivery if available”

  4. Get gift cards ( I especially like this suggestion, because of course you can use these anytime)

I also know that a lot of places are offering a “no-contact” delivery, curbside pickup, and other things. I urge you (if you feel comfortable) to continue to support your local businesses as much as possible. They are the cornerstones of our communities, and we need them.

Ok, so now that I took a few minutes to acknowledge my anxiety, here are the things I am grateful for:

  1.  A job where I am able to work remotely.

    1. (Tangent): Speaking of working remotely, here are some things I’m doing to keep myself on schedule:

      1. Go to bed and wake up at my usual times

      2. Make a to-do list for the day

      3. Stick to your normal eating schedule. Don’t eat out of boredom.

      4. Work without distractions. For me this means no TV.

      5. Take small breaks after completing tasks.

  2. A safe place to sleep, and food, and running water.

  3. My spoiled canine that acts like a child. (Granted that part is my fault, but still)

  4. The time to work on my business, do a little more spring cleaning, and refocus.

There is so much more I could type, but the point is, I encourage you to take some time to reflect during this time of social distancing. If you are a creative, it’s also a good time to get started on those projects you’ve been putting off.

In closing, let’s remember to check on each other (over the phone please), listen to the experts on how to handle this, wash your hands (this goes without saying), and keep being productive. We WILL make it out.

Love always,

CDOG